Firestar's Strange Dream
by Sparklespazz101
Summary: Hmmm... Perhaps Firestar should have eaten some poppy seeds... NEWLY UPDATED  And yes, I know I spelled asylum wrong. And Leopardstar is not clam, she's calm. :D sorry .
1. Chapter 1

Firestar's Strange Dream

**a/n: Okay, this is my second Warriors fanfiction, but my first comedy out of all of my stories :D If you like Warriors, check out ****Remember Me**** by Sparklespazz101. One-shot! I'm not Erin Hunter (But I do own Sparklespazz and all the cats named after food or strange animals and plants!).**

Firestar settled into an uneasy sleep. He just witnessed Graystripe downing 3 mice and a thrush at one sitting. He shuddered, trying to get the unpleasant picture out of his mind.

Slowly, he drifted into dreamland.

* * *

"Firestar, wake up!", Spaklespazz yelled. "Dustpelt unleashed _The Peach!_"

_"Oh my god" thought Firestar as he heard a roar and some loose dirt fell from the top of his den._

"I'm coming!" he yelled down. "Grab me a tranquilizer gun and some asprin!" he ordered.

Sparklespazz didn't waste time finding the gun and the pills, and even came back with a rope and a cowboy hat!

"That-a-girl!", Firestar teased as he put on the hat and handed Brambleclaw the gun. He created a loop in the rope and started swinging it. "Cloudtail!", he thundered. "You, Sandstorm and Thornclaw get it into that corner!"

As soon as the three cats had "The Peach" cornered Firestar slipped the rope over the creature and screamed, "Brambleclaw, now!"

Brambleclaw let go of the trigger on the tranquilizer and a multi-colored dart flew out and hit The Peach in the center of it's shoulder. Everyone held their breath as The Peach let out a final roar and fell to the ground.

The impact caused a minor earthquake and the old twoleg house collapsed. Oh, well. You live you learn.

Firestar and everyone arund him fell to the ground. Firestar checked the back of the asprin bottle and decided it was safe to strech the max a little and take three, judging by how hard his head had hit the ground.

He sighed. "Popcornpuff, Pizzapelt, Sparklespazz, Rhinoripple, Plantpaw, Pawpelt, Greengrass, and Healthyham please take this overgrown, strangely peach-colored bird back to the assylm."

Everyone went back to their duties.

_Meanwhile in Riverclan..._

"Leopardstar! _The Apple_ has been unleashed!"

* * *

Firestar woke with a start. Something was tickling his face. He opened his eyes to find dead ones from a rather large and slimy thrust staring back at him.

He screamed at the nearest cats. "I _told_ you to take it back to the asslym!" He put his paw to his face and held out his other one to Brambleclaw. "More asprin."

Brambleclaw moved quietly away from the disturbed tom and said to Sandstorm, "I _knew_ we shouldn't have brought him the bird Graystripe spit up!"

"Maybe being offered food your bestie has already digested does things to your head?" she offered.

_Riverclan camp:_

"Mistyfoot, give me the tranquilizer gun! The Apple will cause a tsunami if we don't hurry!"

"Leapordstar, I _really_ don't think handing you this is a good idea."

**a/n: How was my first comedy? I hate it when people do stories when there is so much spazziness and screaming that it's hard to understand. I hope I don't offend anyone... R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: Okay gals and girls, first, thanks to PinkRhinosAreBest 'cause you never fail to review! Also, check out jediahsokaroxx's profile page. This story is for elemental helper (See! I did continue).**

**Disclaimer: ...You will understand why I am not an Erin after you read this.**

Firestar's Strange Dream

THE SEQUAL

After a few cats had calmed Firestar down after his dream, he felt very worn out. Leapordstar had stopped by that day babbling some nonsense about an apple. He was tired of everyone poking and prodding him, and asking if he was okay, so he went up to his den and laid down for a good nights sleep... or so he thought.

* * *

Firestar sat bolt upright. Something felt wrong.

He knew he was in a dream, but he didn't think this was a Starclan dream.

_"Oh god" _he thought. _"Please don't let this be a repeat of last night." _He waited for earthquakes, roars, screams, or other signs that The Peach was on a rampage. Nothing came.

"Hmm well that's odd.", he said aloud.

"I wonder if-", he was stopped short when he saw Leapordstar waking up a few fox-lengths away from where he was standing.

"What are you doing here?!", they both questioned in usion.

"Okay", said Firestar. "This is so not cool. What are _you_ doing in _my_ den?"

"Yours?!", spat Leapordstar. "Frankly, I'd be suprised if you even _had _a den with Thunderclan's economy..."

Oh, she was gonna get it now.

"Of course, average Riverclan she-cat. Thinks she's always right. In fact, I do have a den. I'll even show it to you. It's RIGHT HERE WHERE WE ARE STANDING!"

"Are you kidding me?! Why would I be sleeping here if it was YOUR den?!"

"Well, I don't know. Why _were_ you trying to sleep in _my den_?!"

"EWW, STOP! YOUR MAKING ME SICK TO MY STOMACH!"

"PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU TRAVELED FROM RIVERCLAN TO MY DEN WITHOUT EATING FIRST!"

"I ALWAYS EAT BEFORE I TRAVEL! DO NOT EVEN SUGGEST...."

As the cats continued to fight they did not notice the scenery changing around them.

Suddenly, they became aware of the new surroundings.

"I KNOW IT WAS LIONBLAZE WHO THREW THAT ROCK AT PEBBLEPAW'S H-"

"Leapordstar, shut up."

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ TELL ME T-"

"Leapordstar, _quiet!_ Look around you."

"I WILL NOT REST UNTIL- Oh man, where are we?"

"Not my den, that's for sure."

"Duh, 'cause we were never in your den. Anyway, you don't have the money to buy yourself a den that looks like one of those big Olypic Stadiums from ancient Greece."

"WILL YOU DROP IT?! THAT HOMELESS SHELTER HAD SOME REALLY GOOD JAMBALAYA!"

"I HAVE JAMBALAYA SERVED TO ME ON FREAKIN' SILVER PLATTERS AND YOUR GOING TO HOMELESS SHELTERS FOR IT!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS TOO AFRAID TO EAT IN IN MY DEN BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE IN THERE!"

"WELL I-"

A new voice suddenly bellowed, "SILENCCCCCEEEE!"

The cats were silent.

Slowly, they turned they're heads to where the voice came from.

Would you be suprised if you saw Tigerstar on the back of a giant peach-colored bird with a bright red fish flying above him?

Leapordstar and Firestar were.

"YOOOUU!"

"UAAGGHH! CHEETAHSTAR CUT IT OUT! YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL EVERYTHING!"

"No I don- Hey, what the heck, did you just call me Cheetahstar? Firestar, he's finally lost his mind. Umm... Firestar?"

Firestar was being quiet and going unnoticed for the first time in his lives. He slowly raised his hand until his finger was pointed at the bird.

"You.", he croaked.

The Peach screeched.

"YOU WILL PAY!"

He wished Sparklespazz were here. She always made him look good...

*pop* And Sparklespazz appeared.

"Woah.", was all Sparklespazz could say as she saw, Tigerclaw, a flying fish, an oversized bird, an deranged Leapordstar, and ancient Greece all at once.

"I'm gonna guess you need-"

"The tranquilizer gun, and some asprin. Oh, and that cowboy hat was a nice touch last time."

"But..." Sparklespazz started. "I didn't bring it"

"That's okay!", he cried, overly happy. With a pop, both the asprin bottle and the tranquilizer gun appeared.

"Uhh I wished for the cowboy hat to be here too. Where is it?"

Sparklespazz gave a sheepish grin. "Well that's kinda 'cause it's already here..." , she pulled it out from behind her back. "I sleep with this... long story... just like having a blankie..."

"Don't wanna know."

Firestar gave a Tarzan yell whipped his noble steeds. The chariot they pulled was soon off!

As Firestar kicked-butt, Sparklespazz and a now more clam Leapordstar stood together akwardly.

Finally Sparklespazz spoke.

"Soo, you any good at ping pong?"

"Heck yeah!"

* * *

As Sparklespazz and Leapordstar got absorbed in a game of ping pong, they sort of, well, um, tuned out they're surroundings. Neither of them noticed when Firestar was thrown off The Peachs' back and landed on the ground with an _"oomph"._

Firestar cried out in pain and started to crawl towards the tranquilizer gun, but was stopped when a foot met his hand. Firestar looked up only to see Tigerstar, who of course, had a maniac-like grin on his face.

Firestar wasn't too concerned about this. He was concerned, however, for both of they're saftey as he watched The Peach and The Apple slowly crawl forward.

"TIGERSTAR MOV-", he tried to scream but was cut off by a loud wail, followed by a roar of rage and soon both Tigerstar and Firestar were soaring in the air, heading straight for the pen where they kept the angry bulls.

_**To be continued...**_

**a/n: Dun dun dun! Ooh, I'm so bad, I threw in a cliffie! I will only continue if I get reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: Big thanks to Loststream (Don't worry, your Breezy won't get hurt :D). This story will not make any sense if you have not read Firestar's Strange Dream, and Firestar's Strange Dream THE SEQUAL PART 1. I get soo creative with names.**

**Disclaimer: I would not be typing this on an HP Mini at Subway if I was an Erin (trust me).**

* * *

Firestar and Tigerstar both hit the ground really hard.

"Asprin..." Firestar moaned as he rubbed his throbbing head.

"I feel ya.", Tigerstar said as he sat up. Then he gasped.

Inches away from Firestar's spread-eagled form was a huge, angry bull, pawing the ground in front of him getting ready to strike.

Before Tigerstar could have the pleasure of watching Firestar die painfully, for some reason Breezepelt popped up.

"Breezepelt! I wished you were here.", said Firestar.

_"Eww", _Tigerstar thought.

The bull, distracted by the sudden appearence directed his anger at another victim:

Tigerstar.

"OH CRAP! RUN ME, RUN!", Tigerstar screamed over his shoulder as he tried to escape.

It must not have been Tigerstar's lucky day, because the bolt on the gate was rusted, and the fence was too high to climb.

Tigerstar whimpered as he waited for his painful end.

* * *

"My point!", Leapordstar cheered. But she didn't have a lot of time to celebrate, because just then she was cut off by Tigerstar's screaming.

"OWW, AAhg, GLAAHAHHMMAMMAHHH"

"What the-" Leapordstar saw the look of pure disbelief on Sparklespazz's face, and turned around.

First, she saw Tigerstar getting mauled by a bull. Then she saw Breezepelt... laughing next to Firestar. Finally... she saw _The Apple_.

"Sparklespazz! You know the drill!"

"Yessir!"

"Oh shut up. Your just being a poor sport." Leapordstar retorted

"I'm _going._", said Sparklespazz exasperatedly. "Hypocrite.", she muttered.

Leapordstar narrowed her eyes at Sparklespazz. Then once she had the gun and the asprin she sighed, "Go help Firestar."

The bull had turned on Firestar and Breezepelt now. Firestar was cowering behind Breezepelt while Breezepelt kept banging the bull over the head with a stick.

The stick broke.

But Leapordstar couldn't worry about the cats now, because she had a giant flying fish to deal with.

She took one step forward, aimed the gun at The Apple and... woke up.

* * *

**(Firestar POV)**

Firestar jolted awake.

He was dreaming of Breezepelt.

Akward.

**(Leapordstar POV)**

Leapordstar sat up drowsily.

She couldn't remember much about her dream, but there was one thought still on her mind...

It had been Firestar's den.

Akward.

**(Breezepelt POV)**

Breezepelt rolled over in his moss.

He had fought a bull, and made Firestar look like a sissy.

Heh heh.

**(Sparklespazz POV)**

Sparklespazz stared at the ceiling of her den.

Leapordstar is pretty good at ping-pong.

*scowls*

**(Tigerstar POV)**

Tigerstar pushed himself onto his side.

Everything... hurts...

But i'm... still alive...

No wait...

I'm dead...

...Lord have mercy.

_Coming soon: Firestar's Strange Dream; THE SEQUAL PART III_

**a/n: wow, that didn't run as smoothly as my previous FSD's. I think i was in such a hurry to publish it, I didn't try to improve it a lot. Sorry! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: Ok, I have gotten lots of great reviews for this story, so I decided to continue. I guess it's not a one-shot anymore... Please enjoy and tell me what you think!**

Firestar's Strange Dream

It had been many moons since Firestar's last dream, and he was happy about it. For some reason, he always ended up getting an overdose on asprin. So, all the more for him to be horrified when he is thrown into dream land again- or so he thinks!

* * *

Firestar woke to the sound of yowls.

"Oh my god, can I not have 5 MINUTES of peace here?! Just once?!"

The yowling continued, and soon enough Sparklespazz ran in to come face to face with a grumpy Firestar.

"Hey! Get out here! Were under attack!"

Firestar glared in her direction and was about to open his mouth when the relization hit him.

"Hehe."

"Wh-what?"

"I feel so powerful."

Sparklespazz stared at him open-mouthed. She took a deep breath and continued.

"I guess I need to spell this out. Your. Clan. Is. Under. Attack. Better?"

Firestar was full out laughing now.

Sparklespazz shook her head. "Your insane!", she screeched.

"You don't get it!", Firestar giggled at her. "This is all a dream! Watch this!"

Before Sparklespazz could do anything, Firestar ran to the ledge of his den and screamed, "LISTEN UP, GUYS!"

All of the snarling, fighting cats turned to look at him with confused expressions.

"Alright, pay attention. We're all going to smooth this over with some ice cream, and then we will all go invade Windclan and steal their... um, their... uh..."

"Coconuts!", a random Shadowclan warrior shouted. Many turned to glare at him.

"EEWW, I _DESPISE_ COCONUTS! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! I HEREBY SENTENCE YOU TO EXILE!"

"Hey, you can't do that!", Blackstar shouted.

"Watch me!", Firestar screamed back. "Gosh, aren't I supposed to get everything I want in a dream?!"

Many confused murmers rippled through the crowd.

"After we go to Windclan and steal.... uh, potatoes, we will visit Disney World." Firestar smiled. "I've always wanted to ride a spinning tea cup."

He snapped back into reality.

"And then..."

Many groaned.

"And then we will dance in the rain, and build a green pyramid."

There was a pause and the a finishing, "And that's all, because I will probably be awake by then."

There was a long akward pause, and many cats became uneasy.

"Err, were just gonna leave now.", said a disgruntled Blackstar.

"Fine, you can miss the fun."

The Shadowclan warriors shuffled out of the clearing under Firestar's dissaproving eye.

As soon as they left, all the Thunderclan cats started cheering.

"Firestar, I can't believe it, I thought you were going mental but you_ saved_ us!"

Sparklespazz proceeded to hug him.

"Huh?" Firestar was more confused then the Shadowclan warriors. Then he smiled. "I take it Disney World was a popular choice?"

Many cats chuckled. He was so funny.

**a/n: I've done this before, but it was vice-versa. I was oversleeping, and I had a dream I got all ready for school and got on the bus, then my mom came in and was like, 'hurry up! It's 7:15!'**

**I was so confuzzled.**

**R&R!**


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